Sunday, May 17, 2009

Bedtime, Kids, and sex...

Let me start off by saying that I'm totally for co-sleeping. That's not what this is about. I think that co-sleeping is great for babies (and parents who need as much sleep as possible) when they are not sleeping through the night or they are breastfeeding. That I get. But at some point I think it starts to hinder a child's independence & the parent's relationship both. When your "baby" is 4 years old, I think it's time for them to start sleeping by themselves.

It's hard enough to have intimacy or a healthy sex life with kids as it is. You can pretty much forget spontaneity of any kind. That I expected, but I really had hoped that by 4 years old, our daughter would be able to sleep in her room and the adults might get a little time to themselves at night to play together. I was wrong.

Our daughter is up and playing until the second we decide to go to bed. And then it's "I want to get in your bed". So, off I go to the guest room alone. No sex, no kisses, no just laying in bed snuggling. It's over at that point. It bothers me a lot more that it does Meagan I think.

Ryleigh doesn't have a bedtime. She just goes and to bed with Meagan when she goes to bed. That leaves ZERO adult time for either of us & I think it's going to be hard to keep our relationship happy like that. I think if Ryleigh had a bedtime, and it was a few hours before we go to bed it would give both of us a chance to unwind, talk, or whatever at the end of the day. I have been pushing for this since we started dating and it hasn't happened. Meagan would rather Ryleigh stay up late at night at the expense of our relationship and our sex life than to deal with her waking up earlier in the morning. I guess the value of being able to sleep in comes in above almost everything?

At what point should this all get better? Does it get better? Should I just give up trying to have that kind of relationship with my wife? Would it all be easier to deal with then?


  1. I think you both need to come to a decision about this. I do know that our lives, everypart, not just sex, got a lot better after our kids were given a bedtime. They are better rested and happier. Now if we could just make ourselves to go bed at a decent time.

  2. Jami we are way ahead of the curve on that pole!

    See above on RE:Bedtime, sex................... on the Oprah pole