Thursday, May 21, 2009

"Stand by Your Man" or not?


OK, Let me start by saying this isn't anything we are going through but has be a recent topic in our house because of J&K+8. So if your spouse cheats on you do you stay or go? Is it that black and white or is there some grey? Does it matter if it was a one time thing or an affair? What if when you enter into your marriage your partner explained they were unfaithful in every relationship before yours and it was purely a sex thing an NEVER an emotional thing, never more than once with the same person? Can you always remain 100% faithful to one person until death do you part? BTW, when I mean faithful I mean no phone sex with a friend or sexual emails or "sexting", we are talking about anything you wouldn't do with your partner in the room listening in on??? I'm curious if people really mean until death does us part or just until you hurt my ego? And if you do stay how does one recover, on both sides?

7 comments:

  1. Hmmm... I'm kind of torn about this one. I guess I would have to vote for "grey area". In theory I would want to stay and work past some sort of infidelity, but I don't honestly know that I could do it if I were faced with that situation. I think I could get past the idea that my partner (um... you) had some sort of physical relationship with someone else, but I don't know that I could ever get past the emotional hurt.

    I realize that we are all human and make mistakes, so if it were some sort of drunken mistake or something that just happened and it was sex and nothing more, I could move on and get past it. If there were some sort of relationship going on behind my back and there was an emotional involvement... Yeah, I'd be out.

    Just for the record, that's not a free pass baby. You are mine. I'd like to keep it that way.

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  2. Don't worry dear, no one wants this tired mommy anyway!

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  3. Id take ya Meagan..... hehehhe :)

    On a serious note. I was cheated on physically by my 1st husband and I allowed him to stay. Didnt end up staying very long because during the time he was still with me working on "us" he was out doing the ho bag.

    I was also cheated on by my current partner. This time tho it was emotional. There was no sex or anything of that nature involved. I allowed him to stay. And made sure that there was nothing going on behind my back. Thank GOD for being an italian family with connections :)

    I was MORE hurt at the emotional affair than the physical one. And it has taken me alot longer to forgive too. I will NEVER forget.

    I think we all at some point get close to someone that we find attractive and we flirt some. Maybe we say more than what our partner would like, but we are all human and us humans love us some attention. Even if it is just a quick text to someone saying "damn girl you are hot today".

    I have seen alot of couples that have gone through infidelity end up being closer and stronger then ever and the spouse never cheats again. That isnt always the case. Depends on a lot of factors and the people involved. Until it happens to you, you really have no clue how you would deal with it. :)

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  4. I'd kick your ass Danielle & you know it. LoL

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  5. For me, that's a big "hell no." No grey area. There's no way I could ever get past cheating - physical or emotional. For one thing, I'm a very jealous and territorial person and would most likely go completely ape-shit and end up on an episode of "Snapped" or something.

    For another, I really feel that if you've reached the point where you are willing and wanting to have that kind of intimacy - whether it be just a one-time, sloppy, drunk sex type thing or a long, drawn out emotional affair - with someone else, the relationship is over anyway.

    That's my 2 cents.

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  6. OOOOO Jami said she would kick my ass.... :)

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